When a woman lives life on God’s terms and not according to society’s expectations, opposition becomes a regular occurrence. In this much-needed episode, Kari’s tackling what criticism, confusion and lack of support can look like, what the Bible says about it all and 4 effective ways to overcome the pain of opposition.
Hi friend! Welcome to the Christian Mompreneur Podcast, for Moms called to raise babies and businesses where we drop the guilt and step into our callings with the help of Christ! I’m so grateful YOU are here. I’m your host and fellow Mompreneur Kari Hume.
TYPES OF OPPOSITION
Welcome to episode three! If we haven’t met before, I’m Kari Hume. I left my career as a corporate professional to become a stay at home mom and entrepreneur on a mission to help each of you as moms, to raise a family and a business if God calls you to do so. This show is all about the opposition we may face as women who live life on God’s terms and not according to societal expectations.
These days it is more common for moms with young children to actually be in the workplace than it is for them to be raising kids full time “at home.” About 70% of women right now are working outside the home, even though it appears that millennials are actually changing the trend with more of them staying home to raise their children full time, often while running a business.
Basically, it’s still a minority decision to raise children full time, to be an entrepreneur, and especially to do both. Add in being a truth seeking Christian not conformed to this world, and we suddenly faced confusion and criticism from even the kindest of our friends and family. We face various types of opposition when we start making choices that don’t resemble the masses.
“Let our people learn to devote themselves to good works for pressing needs so that they will not be unfruitful.” -Titus 3:14.
We should be doing good things for those who have dire needs. And that is the only reason to start a business. The reason to start a business is not to create a profit center. The reason to start a business is to serve God’s people, which are all of His children, whether they know him or not. And to serve them in a way where we are tackling their highest needs based on what we have with our own passions, experiences and gifts. If you haven’t heard me talk about this before, download my FREE guide.
“But the one who hears and does not act is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The river crashed against it and immediately it collapsed and the destruction of the house was great.” – Luke 6:49.
If we pay particular attention to the beginning of that, we hear of the one who hears and does not act, and then we hear of the destruction that follows. If God has put a plan on your heart or a desire in your heart to take an action that might not be what you expect or what those around you expect of you, and you choose not to listen, I think that is what we should be more afraid of than what society and even those closest to us might say.
- Opposition may come from your parents, siblings, closest friends, former coworkers, fellow congregation members, those that you are close to in church, the list goes on.
- For the most part, I’m not talking about our husbands. If the man closest to us is not supporting what we’re doing, I think the strategies here will help, but it is important to really work to get on the same page with them before you start taking action.
1. CRITICISM
“You can’t do that” or “You shouldn’t do that.”
Even when you’re doing something that maybe doesn’t seem that controversial, any time we start making changes, we will potentially face criticism. And that’s why a lot of people are not strong enough to make a change. We must lean into the Holy Spirit, pray through it, and ask the Lord for His guidance, strength and provision, in decision making.
We also need to gauge whether people have our complete best interest at heart. If they don’t, the criticism could actually be caused by their own conviction. Usually when we make choices different from others, it to them feels like we’re saying their choices are wrong. You will face criticism when you start making choices on behalf of what the Lord is telling you to do. There’s no doubt, especially when it could potentially grow His kingdom. There’s a lot of discomfort in that, whether it’s discipling your own children, helping His people, you name it.
“Reject a divisive person after a first and second warning.” – Titus 3:10.
The important part is to not shed hate or anything on someone, but understand at some point if there continually comes conflict, when you are in alignment with the Lord and there is someone who is causing that, don’t let them be what drags you down. You can lovingly distance yourself, and do whatever that is in your particular situation. But this is straight from the Bible, and knowing that while family is family, you can still love on people and move forward in the path that the Lord has set before you.
“Blessed are you when people hate you, when they exclude you, insult you and slander your name as evil because of the son of man.” – Luke 6:22.
“The wounds of a friend are trustworthy, but the kisses of an enemy are excessive.” – Proverbs 27:6.
2. CONFUSION
“Are you sure?”
I had a 10-year corporate career and never planned to stay home. Then, as soon as I had my first child, I was searching for daycare and just bawled my eyes out because I could not fathom having to hand him over. It was just really painful and weird and conflicting, and I was confused. So for almost two years, I talked about wanting to be home, trying to be home. My husband and I paid off all of our personal debt, and we were doing what we could to reduce our expenses and to save as much of our income as possible.
Then I had a conversation with my super awesome grandma who I’m so blessed to still have today and she’s like, “Kari, you’re an educated woman. You need to work! That’s what you’re good at.” And while I totally understand what she was saying (because she didn’t have the same opportunities that I have) it was very hard to hear. I’m like, oh my goodness, there’s this woman that I love and respect so much and she is not supportive of this decision. It was also confusing and disappointing to my parents, because I had a pretty awesome career that looked really glamorous on paper. It had its fun moments for sure, but it was very stressful.
I never could reconcile how I was going to be the parent I wanted to be and still have this career. That caused a lot of confusion. The same thing happened once I stayed home and started businesses. In that process there were a lot of conversations like, “You can’t do it all. How are you going to fit that in? Will you actually make any money?” And this started the confusion. You’re going to have those “Are you sure?” conversations come up. I think it’s a fair question, because a lot of these people are looking out for our best interest. Most of the time they’re wanting to make sure you’re headed down the right path.
The Lord doesn’t often lay an entire perfect plan down for us – what He does is, He inspires us. He shows us what we have. He starts getting us excited about things. He opens our eyes to needs that exist in the world. He plants people in our life.
3. LACK OF SUPPORT
“Truly, I tell you no prophet is accepted in his hometown.” – Luke 4:24.
Even Jesus experienced this, ladies. That is something to really stand in awe of. We have a model of someone who experienced criticism and confusion and mass lack of support, and that lack of support came from those closest to him. It came from those in his own hometown. So expect that same thing to happen. And if it doesn’t, it is an added blessing. Use it. Don’t let others get you down when you have at least one person who believes in what you’re doing. And I hope that one person at the very minimum is your spouse.
FOUR EFFECTIVE WAYS TO OVERCOME CRITICISM, CONFUSION, AND LACK OF SUPPORT
- Stay close to the Lord
- Pray for the persecutor
- Be a model to others of what you want to see
- Garner like-minded and like-valued fellowship and friendship
Let’s talk about how to overcome these three things. Number one should totally be obvious and this is our go to number one, (1) Stay close to the Lord. We need to pray, ask for guidance, and ask for confirmation. Sometimes the Holy Spirit will intercede for us before we even know what to ask for or say. We want our eyes opened, we want our hearts opened, we want our minds opened and to be listening. What are the verses that are coming to you, who are the people being observant. What are the things coming, the people coming in your life and the resources potentially that are being put in front of you? Stay close to the Lord.
When you open up your Bible, the answers that come from the Lord will never and can never go against what the Word says, what the Bible says. So be sure to read, because every answer we need in life, parenting, business, marriage, you name it, it is actually already in the Bible.
We also have to be open to unexpected answers. If I had closed the door over the last five or six years to unexpected answers, I would not feel the alignment that I feel and I can’t even imagine where I would be. I’m so, so thankful that the Lord has allowed me to keep my mind open to things that I knew would bring me criticism and that would bring me opposition from those especially that I loved dearly.
The second effective way to overcome opposition is (2) Pray for the persecutor. My mom told me this when I was little, and I remember being very confused. But man, it is so important.
“But I say to you who listen, love your enemies. Do what is good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who mistreat you.” – Luke 6:27-28.
We have to be willing to decouple the need for validation. And I have really, really struggled with this one. But I do think we find so much peace when we lean into what the Lord has for us and understand that others will have their time, too.
The third effective way to overcome opposition is to (3) Be a model to others of what you want to see. I really encourage you to read Matthew 7 in its entirety this week for inspiration.
Therefore, whatever you want others to do for you do the same for them. This is the law. And in the prophets.” – Matthew 7:12
Be a model. If you see others around you making choices that go against your choices, but they are not against what the Bible says, be an encourager for them, pray for them. Let them know you’re praying for them, that the Lord provides for them, that He brings them clarity on what they need, and that they have abundance in whatever it is they’re setting out to accomplish.
The final effective way to overcome opposition is to (4) Garner like-minded and like-valued fellowship and friendship. This has completely changed my life. I have close, dear friends that I didn’t have back when I started making changes in my parenting and my work and my career and my business and my health and our nutrition. But one by one, the Lord started putting people in my life. Now, when I have a choice I need to make or I’m looking for the appropriate decision on something I can go to them and get their perspective.
He will provide those wise counselors for us. If you don’t have them, go out and find community. Pray for the Lord to put friends, supporters, encouragers, and inspiration in your path that will help you in following His path. While we don’t need everyone to believe what we believe, we do need a few people near us who do. The enemy wants to see us divided and discouraged. Don’t let him win. The only person you answer to is our heavenly Father. That’s it.
So to wrap up on a positive note, go check out my FREE Praise Music Playlist to lift you up, to remind you of your worth in the eyes of our Lord. It’s a free playlist of contemporary praise music just for the Christian mom. I mentioned earlier, if you are really feeling called to grow a business and you don’t know where to start or maybe you have one but you just don’t feel like you’re fully in alignment, I really encourage you to grab my FREE Niche Guide.
“No one may believe that you can accomplish what God has laid on your heart either until you attempt it in the strength of the Lord.”
Have a wonderful day, my friend. Be sure to share this podcast with a mom who needs it and join me in our Christian Mompreneurs Unite Facebook group. It’s fine to invite friends there as well. If you haven’t already, subscribe to this podcast so you never miss an episode. And, if you’d be so kind, rate the show! With so much love, Kari.
